There are many biblical principles that can help you find the right person to marry. The same truths in Scripture apply to everyone. However, the application of these principles is where things must change if you are an older Christian single person.
Here are ten biblical dating tips for Christian singles over 40 who want to be married one day.
Be More Intentional than When You Were Younger
When you were younger and social, you naturally formed emotional connections with other singles, which led to relationship opportunities. When you get older, being social doesn’t work as well anymore because there are fewer eligible singles around. So, in addition to being social, you have to be intentional about meeting other Christian singles your age. Personally, I have seen older singles have more success if they are proactive online rather than just randomly trying to meet other Christian singles in life.Cast a Wide Net Rather than Focusing on One Person
As you get older, your options are limited. This can often make you hyperfocus on just one person because you think they are your only option. If the relationship is progressing, there’s nothing wrong with focusing on this one person. However, just waiting is a huge mistake. Rather than focusing on one person, it’s wiser to have a wider vision until things really get serious with one person (Ecclesiastes 11:6).Choose to Enjoy the Process
Casting a wide net can feels like a waste of time; you go on a bunch of dates with people you won’t end up marrying. To get the results you’re hoping for, you have to find ways to enjoy this process : have a friend you can debrief with; learn to laugh about bad dates; be open-minded, even if you think you won’t like someone. And even if you know there’s no potential, choose to enjoy a date with another adult for the experience it is.Stay Consistent
Relationships take time to build. Therefore, you have to be very intentional about maintaining consistency. You have to be consistent in being around other singles, which might require online dating for longer than you wanted. When you meet someone, you need to be consistent in communicating and connecting with them. If you don’t, you two will never build a connection.End Things Quickly When You Know It’s Not Going to Work
To balance all this advice about consistency, it’s also important to end things sooner than you did when you were younger. As an older person, you should trust yourself more since you have more experience and greater discernment (hopefully). If you know it’s not going to work with someone, just end it so you can focus your energy elsewhere.Move Faster When There’s Potential
Just as your maturity and greater discernment should help you move on faster, so too should it help you move forward faster. The courting mindset works much better for younger Christian, because they lack experience. However, as a mature adult, you should have a greater ability to know what you want and who possesses those qualities (Proverbs 13:20).Examine Your List and Compromise Where You Can
As you get older, there are fewer relationship options. We can’t change that reality. However, one thing you can change is yourself. The fewer requirements you have, the more options you have. Of course you need requirements, both biblical and personal. But ask yourself, “Would giving up [blank desire] be worth it if I could get married?” The shorter your list, the more likely you are to find someone.Pursue Passions and Include Others
People who like similar things end up connecting. That sounds obvious, but as you get older, it’s easy to get so hyper-focused on your singleness that you forget the other important elements that are needed to form a relationship. Therefore, you have to keep pursuing the other passions God has given you.Increase Your Agreeableness Where You Can
The older we get, the easier it is for us to get stuck in our ways. We know what we like and don’t like. This is good. But this can also make it hard when you’re trying to bring someone new into your life. You both must be willing to change your lives to form a new life together.Be Bold in Making Changes and Leave the Results to God
Doing the same thing will result in getting the same outcomes. If you’re older and you want to meet someone, you have to try something different. And once you do, you have to be consistent and keep doing different things until something works. This can be stressful. The key is to leave the results to God (1 Corinthians 3:7).
(Originally published on the Apply God’s Word website in English as: 10 Biblical Dating Tips for Singles 40+ by Mark Ballenger. Translated and published with permission.)