That is an expression we often hear, especially in Christian circles. And when a Christian is certain of their feelings, they might even say, “God has put it in my heart.” However, we must remain very wary of the impulses of our hearts.
Feeling compassion for a particular group of people, in other words, “caring in our hearts” and wanting to meet certain needs, is certainly an excellent quality. For example, when a Christian has compassion for lonely people, they feel the same kindness that God Himself feels for them. “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world” (James 1:27 NKJV). Having a particular group of people “at heart” is therefore entirely commendable, and it is even a sign of our calling, of the mission God has entrusted to us on Earth.
But just because our heart beats faster for a particular cause doesn’t mean it’s a divine sign that we must meet that need. Especially in the century we live in, with the phenomenal effectiveness of many marketing firms, we can be moved and feel called upon by all sorts of needs without it being a call from God. Our hearts are easily manipulated; we must acknowledge this. In Hebrew, the word “heart” means many things. It is the physical organ, yes, but for the Hebrews, it is also the seat of emotions, where intelligence develops, and also the place of our desires, good or bad. Our heart can be educated, through wisdom, to follow God’s path, but if it is not tamed, it will drive us into all sorts of emotions or desires that are not in accordance with God’s will.
And not being in accordance with God’s will doesn’t just mean that we will be tempted to wallow in sin. Our great empathy can also lead us to give a lot of time and energy to a cause that seems very good, even to serve with all our might in a ministry at our church, without this being God’s will for us. Martha’s servant’s heart compelled her to serve Jesus, while her sister Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. When Martha became irritated by her sister’s lack of help, Jesus vindicated the one who had chosen to do nothing. Even when we are “deeply inclined” to do a particular good deed, we must also place it before the Lord to see if our heart is truly leading us in the right direction, or if we are instead heading toward physical, emotional, or spiritual exhaustion.
Similarly, if we don’t feel like making a certain sacrifice, it doesn’t mean we should remain inactive. When we are asked to do a favor, and we don’t feel like it, it’s good to talk to the Lord because it’s also possible that God is inviting us to step outside our comfort zone (Matthew 21:28-31). We should never rely on our emotions to make a decision; even less should we rely on our flesh or our desires, which are generally contrary to those of the Spirit (Galatians 5:17).
“There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21 NKJV). No one wants to work in vain, so it is important to bring all the projects we have in mind before the Lord to know where He wants us to invest our time and energy. Listening to the Holy Spirit means listening to the voice of Wisdom. This is why the apostle Peter advised young Christians to develop their knowledge of God’s Word, in addition to their love. “And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment” (Philippians 1:9 NKJV). Love is good, but without wisdom, without the knowledge of God, we cannot have good discernment.
Singles, it’s very important not to give in to the impulses of our hearts, especially when we meet someone attractive. Our love should be a blend of emotions AND reflection. We can certainly rejoice with cute butterflies fluttering around our heads, but we must also know how to restrain our impulses to protect our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). We can allow our love to blossom after listening to the voice of Wisdom regarding a relationship. Because once married, when trials come, and our emotions falter, we will always have our convictions to guide us to confirm our commitment.