You both seem really attracted to each other; your conversation is ridiculously natural; you share a lot of the same hobbies; you have the same sense of humor; and there seems to be a strong mutual interest. There’s just one problem : you’re a Christian, but they are not.
In this article, I’m going to give you 4 reasons it feels like this person is the one for you, even though they’re not a Christian. Also, I’ll be listing here different possibilities. Points 1-3 will be reasons that explain why you feel like they are the one for you, even though they are probably not. Point 4, however, will explain another possibility that involves you two ending up together one day. So make sure you read until the end to get all the possibilities.
1) It Feels Like This Person Is The One Even Though They’re Not a Christian Because Something Is Off in Your Relationship with God
Maybe you were doing really well, reading your Bible every day, and thriving spiritually, but then life slowly started creeping in. The fact is, when you drift from God, it will show up in your attraction towards other singles. Who you are attracted to says something about your own value system. Sometimes Christians are more attracted to non-Christians because deep down, they feel more compatible with them. They know they aren’t fully living for Christ, so they worry that a Christian who is will not want to be with them.
James 4:4 offers a severe warning that should cut us to the quick, “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” We must love the lost, but if we want to be united with the lost in an intimate way, something is off in our hearts.
2) It Feels Like This Person Is The One Even Though They’re Not a Christian Because You Don’t Realize What It Really Means to Be an Unbeliever
Many times, we equate Christianity with things like kindness, humility, love, and basically being a good person compared to others who are obviously selfish and mean. A Christian should definitely be defined by such traits. And yet, on a human level, non-Christians can be kind, generous, loving, and basically be “good” people.
But notice I said, “on a human level.” On the spiritual level, non-Christians are not capable of doing true good because they don’t do good for the glory of God. There are always sins in an unbeliever’s life that they love more than God. They cannot have the desires of Christ because they lack the Holy Spirit inside of them. They are not “basically a good person.” No, spiritually speaking, they are following Satan while we are seeking to follow God (Ephesians 2:1-3, 1 John 5:19, 2 Corinthians 4:4, John 8:44, 1 John 3:10).
3) It Feels Like This Person Is The One Even Though They’re Not a Christian Because You’re Living in the Moment and Not Thinking About the Future
Flirting is easy. Being romantically attracted to each other is easy. Laughing at jokes, eating meals together, and enjoying hobbies are easy. If you just want to have fun in the moment, it makes sense that you would be drawn to someone with a cool personality, attractive appearance, and similar interests. But you want a godly husband or wife, right?
An unbeliever could never be your partner in the Lord. You will be incredibly lonely going to church by yourself, reading your Bible by yourself, and not being able to pray with your spouse. Being unequally yoked prevents you from serving God as he wants you to serve him (2 Corinthians 6:14).
4) It Feels Like They’re The One Even Though They’re Not a Christian Because God Is In the Process of Saving Them Soon
If you’re a Christian who has feelings for an unbeliever, it’s going to be tempting to assume that this point is the one that relates to you. But in reality, this is the least likely possibility. And yet, I don’t think it would be fair to entirely rule out this possibility. I think some Christians will really love an unbeliever, and God will save that person. and then call them to get married one day. But if this were happening to you, I think you would sense that this person is close to coming to Jesus. If don’t seem interested in Christ at all, you should not assume this might still be your person. But if it seems like their conversion may happen soon, then perhaps you will become a couple one day.
Please note, however, I’m in no way saying that a Christian should start dating a non-Christian in hopes of saving that person or because they think God will save them one day. If God is going to save this person and then put you two together, let him do it in that order. While some people get the order wrong and the unbeliever still gets saved, there are always painful consequences to pay (Galatians 6:7). God could have saved that person and put those two together without them disobeying the word of God.
(Originally published on the Apply God’s Word website in English as: 4 Reasons It Feels Like “Your Person” Is an Unbeliever by Mark Ballenger. Translated and published with permission.)