We would like to be as spiritual as a certain man of God, or as wealthy as another prominent figure. But even if we make a lot of effort to try to emulate their success, the Bible says that our environment has the final say.
In the 90s, the trend was to ask, “What would Jesus do?” To help us think and act like Jesus, many Christians bought silicone bracelets with the initials WWJD, in all sorts of colors. Others preferred necklaces or other merchandise with these initials. A clever marketing ploy, but one that still aimed to encourage us to be like Jesus. A truly essential goal, but oh so difficult to achieve! And it’s the same thing in other areas of our lives. It’s good to adopt certain habits from someone who has achieved success in a field we aspire to, but we must keep in mind that these inspirations will never have a long-term impact on our lives.
Why? Because naturally, we tend to adopt the habits of those around us; we build our self-esteem based on what others say about us. The judgment of others, or at least what we believe those around us think of us, directly influences how we think and act. That is the basis of the sociological theory of the “social mirror”, developed by Charles Horton Cooley in 1902. In fact, this principle was established long before him, as it is even mentioned in the Bible. The Apostle Paul used it as a recommendation to his contemporaries: “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV). And long before him, the Book of Wisdom also warned us: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20 NIV).
The question we should ask ourselves, then, is, “What do I want to improve in my life?” Then, we need to look at those around us: our family, our friends, our colleagues. Do the people around me share the same bad habit? If so, you’re swimming against the current. If you truly want to change this habit, you need to cultivate new friendships with people who practice the habit you want to develop.
For example, if you desire peace in your singleness, but all your friends are constantly complaining about being single and looking for all sorts of ways to get into relationships, you won’t find peace in your singleness. You should surround yourself with people who are happily single, because their positive attitude will positively influence your state of mind. Or, if you desire a happy marriage, spend time with couples who are happy in their union. If your parents divorced or their relationship was always difficult, you’ll need a couple of friends who are close and fulfilled together to help you maintain a positive view of marriage.
So, look at your social circle right now. It’s a mirror of your future. It’s what you will become later. If it doesn’t truly reflect who you want to be, do some clean-up in your circle of friends today. Similarly, when you’re dating someone charming, before marrying them, pay close attention to their social circle. You will have some influence on their life, but their social circle will also shape who they become. Analyzing this person’s social circle will tell you a lot about their values and their future. That is surely what Paul was referring to when he said, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV).
Finally, let us also consider what we pass on to those around us. The apostle Paul was so confident in his conduct that he was able to say, “Therefore I urge you to imitate me” (1 Corinthians 4:16 NIV). Could we tell a young believer to imitate us in our faith? Is our walk in Christ worthy of imitation? It is not just about being an example to our children, but about being a model Christian for the Church. What about your singleness? Could you say to a young single Christian, “Do as I do”? What is there in our conduct that we wouldn’t want another Christian to imitate? That is certainly something we can improve.