That is a slogan we sometimes hear, especially in Christian circles. When we take the time to reflect on this phrase, we realize that it is indeed a pearl of wisdom to apply in all areas of our lives, especially in the search for a partner.
First, we must clearly distinguish between patience and waiting. Waiting is like looking at our watch when the bus is late. It’s worrying about the delay or getting irritated by the delay. Patience is trusting the system of transportation and using this time to finish an assignment, listen to a podcast, or answer emails. Patience implies an attitude of acceptance. Our answer is not yet here, but we believe in the One who made the promise, so we don’t worry about the process. We certainly have a great desire to see our answer, but we don’t try to control the process.
Being patient is not a passive state. We don’t try to force the answer to our prayer because we trust in God’s plan, but we use this time to do things we won’t be able to do once we arrive at our destination. For someone single, this could mean going on mission trips, getting involved in a community service project, or giving respite to overwhelmed parents. If we are convinced that God has marriage plans for us, we will use this time to prepare ourselves to receive the answer. We will prepare our finances (by paying off our debts, for example), we will seek healing for our emotions, and above all, we will continue to strengthen our relationship with God. “Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer” (Romans 12:12 NKJv). Trusting God means continuing to invest in the growth of God’s Kingdom, knowing that God is working on our behalf.
To be patient, we must be able to see what is unseen. Just because we don’t see God at work doesn’t mean He isn’t working for us. “Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep” (Psalm 121:4 NKJV). Even if our situation isn’t progressing as we would like, it doesn’t mean we’re at a standstill or that God is ignoring us. No, God listens, God is compassionate, and God responds. He doesn’t always respond as we wish, but if we are truly attentive to recognizing Him, we will notice His gentle hand quietly transforming our character, the doors He opens to introduce us to new friendships, and the victories He grants us, even if we forget to thank Him. Our perseverance produces inner strength, and this too is an answer to our prayer (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
Patience helps us maintain our standards. Delays or rejections can certainly be a sign that we need to revise some of our criteria, but trust in God will keep us from making dangerous compromises. It was out of sheer impatience that Saul disobeyed God, leading to his downfall from the kingship (1 Samuel 13:8-14). It was also Sarah’s impatience that led to the birth of Ishmael (Genesis 16). Let us take their example as an inspiration to develop our own patience.
And we don’t need to work very hard to develop patience because it is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Therefore, we simply need to maintain a good relationship with Him to remain patient. “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass” (Psalm 37:4-5 NKJV). A good relationship with God will not only produce the patience we need, but also peace and even joy in this time of waiting.