We say we want love, but our calendars and bank accounts often tell a different story. It’s time to stop treating connection as an optional luxury and start seeing it as a necessary investment.
We often hear from singles that their schedules are too busy or their budgets are too tight to participate in the various activities organized for them. “I’d love to go on the hike, but I have so much to do!” or “A restaurant outing is a bit too expensive for me right now”. We understand that life can be expensive, and the demands of work and family can be overwhelming. However, if we are serious about our desire to get married, we need to pause and look at the reality of the situation. The older we get, the harder it is to take risks because we have more to lose. Our time, our comfort, and our investments. We often hide our fear of these risks behind a full agenda. But a relationship is not something you simply add to an already full life. It requires us to make room in every aspect of our lives.
Jesus was very clear about the necessity of preparation. In Luke 14:28 NIV, He asks: “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?” This principle applies to our social lives just as much as it does to a construction project.
If you do not have the time, money, or emotional resources to invest in a simple evening of board games with friends or a Christian singles’ conference, you certainly won’t have them for dating. A romantic relationship is much more demanding, and you cannot expect to suddenly find a surplus of time and money once you meet someone special. Don’t wait for the perfect moment.” It requires a significant sacrifice of your time, your independence, and often your wallet.
We must stop viewing social activities as mere options or distractions from our search for a partner. Instead, we should recognize them as essential in growing ourselves and our social circle. Being in a couple means we are no longer masters of ourselves but are called to be at the service of the other. If we cannot sacrifice a Saturday night of personal relaxation to serve at our church or to encourage a brother or sister in a group activity, we will struggle to sacrifice our deeply ingrained habits once we are married.
That brings us to a heart issue. Matthew 6:21 NIVtells us: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” If our finances are so tight that a group dinner at a restaurant feels impossible, we must honestly ask ourselves how we will manage the doubled expenses of a family. If finding a partner and building a Godly home is high on our list of priorities, then our schedules and bank accounts should reflect that. That isn’t about being religious or legalistic. It’s about being honest with ourselves and with God.
We often treat marriage as a finish line, but it is actually a transfer station. We bind ourselves to our spouse and then continue. The evening we dedicate today to developing our social circle is the same evening that we use to go on dates, and eventually, for date nights with our spouse. We shouldn’t wait until we meet someone to suddenly become generous, available, and social people. ““The one who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and the one who is unrighteous in a very little thing is also unrighteous in much.” (Luke 16:10 NASB). If we want to see a change in our social status this year, we have to move!
Take a look at your calendar this week. Where can you step out of your comfort zone to serve others or meet new people? Remember, it is often as we are running in our calling and serving the Kingdom that we meet someone who shares our passion. Let’s prioritize our relationships, starting with our friends and our community. It’s not just a way to break loneliness; it’s the best investment for your future.