Not only does a godly woman need to know what signs to look for so she can meet and marry a man God approves of, but she also needs to be aware of false signs that can mislead her.
Here are five false signs that do not mean a man is “The One” for you.
Persistent Pursuit Is Not a Sign a Man Is “The One” for You
Sometimes a woman thinks a man is the one because he is pursuing her harder than any man ever has. If you’ve been wounded before or received mixed signals from men, it can be a great feeling when a guy is chasing you hard. What a woman needs to understand, however, is that sometimes a man refuses to give up not because he values you, but because of his lust or ego. A man who truly loves a woman listens carefully to what she says. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says love “does not insist on its own way.” A godly man is sensitive to a woman’s words because he wants to protect her, not overpower her.Passionate Pursuit Is Not a Sign a Man Is “The One” for You
Strong emotion can be incredibly convincing. Passion, chemistry, and excitement can feel like proof that something is “meant to be.” But passion alone is not confirmation from God. Proverbs 19:2 warns, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.” A man may pursue you passionately because emotions are high, not because his character is mature or his intentions are pure. Emotional intensity does not equal spiritual readiness.Following Religious Rules in His Pursuit Is Not a Sign a Man Is “The One” for You
When a woman has only ever been pursued by worldly men, sometimes she becomes convinced a man is the one for her simply because he is following religious rules in his pursuit. Quoting Scripture, attending church, or following Christian courting “rules” does not automatically mean he really loves the Lord. And even if he does really love the Lord and is pursuing you in a biblical way, this doesn’t automatically mean God has chosen this man for you. Sometimes a good man will pursue you, but God will make it clear that he’s not the right man for you.If He Is the Only One Pursuing, This Is Not a Sign He Is “The One” for You
When a woman really wants to be married, it can be very tempting to assume the first guy who shows her real interest must be the man God wants her to marry. But just because a guy is pursuing you and no one else is does not mean he’s the one for you. Lamentations 3:25-26, “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”Just Because You Want Him to Pursue Does Not Mean He’s “The One” for You
One of the most subtle false signs has nothing to do with the man : it has to do with your heart. Wanting a man to pursue you can quietly distort discernment. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things.” Desire can turn persistence into “proof,” passion into “confirmation,” and religious language into “calling.” When you want something badly enough, it becomes easy to interpret everything in a favorable light. Trusting God means allowing truth to correct feelings. The man God has for you will not require you to ignore red flags, silence the Holy Spirit, or constantly convince yourself that something is right that, deep down, feels wrong.
When a man is sent by God, his pursuit will respect your boundaries, strengthen your faith, and move with clarity rather than chaos. Discernment is not about rejecting love; it’s about protecting your heart until love arrives in the way God designed.
(Originally published on the Apply God’s Word website in English as: 5 False Signs That Do NOT Mean a Man Is The One for You by Mark Ballenger. Translated and published with permission.)