No. Even though it’s often promised to single Christians that they’ll find the special person God has prepared just for them, the concept of a soulmate isn’t biblical. And that’s good news!
It’s the main theme of many love songs and movies. It’s certainly romantic, but the concept of a soulmate originated from Greek philosophy mentioned in Plato’s writings. The story goes that a creature with four arms, four legs, and two heads was so powerful that it frightened the gods. To diminish its power, the gods split it in two, and ever since, each half has been searching for its other half, its soulmate.
The concept of a soulmate, the idea that only one other person was created to complete us, is not in the Bible either. Nowhere is it written that we must seek the one and only person created for us. God instructs the Israelites not to marry foreigners, and some fathers, like Abraham, request daughters from a specific clan or family for their sons, but that’s all. Nowhere in history has God pointed out a specific woman to a man. Aside from Adam and Eve, but let’s just say the choice wasn’t very extensive! The two other occasions where God explicitly told a man to marry a specific woman were Joseph, husband of Mary (but they were already betrothed), and Hosea, where God told him to marry a prostitute (without, however, specifying exactly which one).
What God has given us are very specific criteria for finding a partner. But after we have met these criteria, the choice ultimately rests with us.
Well, it’s true that God knows everything, so He knows exactly who we will choose. He also knows our hearts, our tastes, our mission in His Kingdom, so it’s very likely that God will open wonderful opportunities for us to meet the person we will marry. But it’s up to us to choose from several acceptable possibilities.
Why is it important to make this distinction? For several reasons:
Because we have a role to play in the process. We can’t wait for God to send us what He has prepared for us. We must take steps to find a good potential spouse. We must take the time to verify if this person meets the criteria God asks us to respect.
Because if we believe that God has only one person prepared for us, we will reject anything that doesn’t seem perfect. Every time we face a difficulty, we will doubt that this person is the one created for us. Some people have even divorced because they came to the conclusion that they hadn’t married their soulmate. That is, of course, not a legitimate reason for divorce according to the Bible. The person you marry won’t be perfect (neither are you). But if you share the same goal (to grow His Kingdom), the same passions, and serve one another, you will remain married until death do you part.
Because God is not unjust. If our soulmate made the wrong choice, would that mean we would be forced to remain single? God opens paths of blessing for all His children, regardless of the choices of others.
Because believing in soulmates removes our share of responsibility in the process. But when it is our choice, we must think carefully before making it and then take responsibility for our decision. What matters to God is that we choose a Christian partner with whom we can grow His Kingdom. What matters to God is seeing that the husband will serve and protect his wife, and that the wife will serve and support her husband.
God never encouraged men to marry two women, but He didn’t prevent Jacob from marrying Leah and Rachel. Which of the two was his soulmate? Rachel, because Jacob loved her more? Yet Judah, the patriarch of Jesus, was Leah’s son. God neither approved nor condemned these marriages; He glorified Himself through the two wives. Obviously, we are not encouraging polygamous marriages here, but we are using this example simply to illustrate the principle that soulmates don’t exist. The choice of a partner is ours, and we must make that choice according to biblical principles.
So, soulmates don’t exist. And that’s good news! This means you will meet several people who meet your criteria, even if they are not perfect. You can’t go wrong if you base your choice on biblical principles.