I recently read a quote that I really agree with : “In relationships, the little things are the big things.” I think there is some relevancy too when it comes to starting a relationship. Sometimes, the little things are actually the big things.
In this article, I’m going to share the male perspective on some small things Christian single men are attracted to in a woman. And while I will be using Scripture in this article, please note this is more of a subjective topic, so I will be leaning more on my opinions than on pure biblical principles like I normally do.
1: A clean social media history (or not using social media a lot)
When you just meet a guy and you are kind of interested in him, what’s the first thing you do? That’s right, you try to find him on social media. You then start scrolling and assessing, “Oh, he post’s Bible verses. I love that” or, “Uh oh, seems like a lot of pictures of him drinking at parties.” Well, men are doing the same thing. If a godly man is looking for a godly wife, he doesn’t want to see your belly, butt, and boobs all over your page. He’d like those parts of his future wife to be for his eyes only one day. However, if he sees you following wholesome accounts, “liking” edifying content, and posting healthy pictures, this will attract him more. A godly man is attracted to a woman who is separated from the world (2 Corinthians 6:17).
2: Little feminine touches to your appearance even when you’re not dressed up
When you have hoody and sweatpants on but you still look like a beautiful woman, that is actually way more appealing to a godly man than when you’re wearing an elaborate dress and you paid someone $100 to do your hair. Why is that? I think there’s something in a man that is triggered when he can imagine you being beautiful on a daily basis, not just when you put in maximum effort. When you’re dressed down but you still have a feminine aura around you, it gives him a glimpse of what it would be like to be in a relationship with you (1 Timothy 2:9-10).
3: What music you listen to (or don’t listen to)
You might think this is overly religious or judgmental, but I’m just sharing what I think most Christian guys subtly notice. In my view, when a godly guy hears a woman listening to some worldly trash that’s bashing men or celebrating lust or partying, it’s a huge turn off. A godly man is looking for a wife, not a girlfriend he can go to the club with. When you have clean music taste and you are careful not to take in sinful trash, a godly man notices (1 John 2:15-17).
4: Not Taking Yourself Too Seriously
A godly man will see an attractive woman across the room and say to himself, “Wow, she’s beautiful.” However, if a godly man talks to a woman who knows how to laugh at herself, poke fun at him, and just generally knows how to enjoy life, he will pursue that woman much more often than he will the pretty girl across the room. A woman who is approachable and easy to talk to is very attractive to a man. The easier he finds it to talk to you, the more he will talk to you. The more he talks to you, the more he will feel connected to you. The more he feels connected to you, the more likely he will want to connect more deeply with you, which typically results in a desire for dating. Perhaps the spiritual quality I’m talking about here is humility (Luke 14:11). If you’re humble, not taking yourself too seriously, a godly man will notice.
5: High standards for men
If a godly man knows you are quick to reject those players in the church with a bad reputation, and if sees you waiting for a godly man to pursue rather than taking any dude who gives you attention, this makes you more attractive to him. When you are guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23), that’s a subtle sign you are preparing to be a great wife in marriage one day. You’re thinking about the consequences of your choices and how they will affect you later. A godly man will be doing the same, so he will be attracted to you.
(Originally published on the Apply God’s Word website in English as: 5 Little Things Godly Women Do that Men Find Very Attractive by Mark Ballenger. Translated and published with permission.)