Some single men complain that women are so independent that they don’t feel welcome. It’s true that this attitude can be off-putting. But it’s also true that women can live without a man. What’s the happy medium?

We all need each other. God created us as social beings. Even those with introverted personalities need some human contact at some point. To say that we don’t need anyone is, of course, an exaggeration. We are, all together, the Body of Christ, each with their own function, to support one another.

Some women loudly proclaim that they don’t need men to live. And those who repeat this to anyone who will listen sometimes do so with a derogatory attitude toward men. They don’t want to be seen as weak and defenseless. They are strong and independent, and they want to make it known. So, it’s not exactly this statement that repels single men but the attitude behind it. No one likes to feel useless or insignificant. Women who display this arrogance shouldn’t be surprised if they remain single! It’s indeed an attitude that destroys the social bridge to another individual.

But the statement itself is not false. A woman can live perfectly well without being married. Like all single people, some of a woman’s desires will go unmet, but God will always take care to meet all the needs of His children. He even pays special attention to single people, knowing full well that they are even more dependent on Him. Many women live much longer than their husbands; they don’t die as soon as they pass away, so the proof is there: a woman doesn’t need a man to live.

Men must keep this reality in mind when approaching a woman and not be insulted by it. Yes, a woman can live perfectly well without a man, so if she prefers to share her life with a man, he should accept his attention as a privilege. If a woman says she needs a man to survive, that she is helpless living alone, this will not lead to a healthy relationship. This attitude can repel a man as well. Although a man has received the gift from God to be the head of his home, God has not delegated His power of salvation to him! Jesus is the Savior, not the man. God has given gifts and talents to both women and men. If a woman pursues her calling and takes good care of her affairs, it doesn’t mean she prefers to remain alone. It means she will be a blessing to her future husband because he won’t have to constantly take care of her and save her from storms. She will stand by his side and be a valuable help to him (Proverbs 31). A man should not fear an independent woman but rather see her as a blessing.

So, how can a woman demonstrate her independence without pushing a man away? By taking a position God has given women since the beginning of creation: to be a helper. One of the antidotes to the arrogance of independence is to help those around us and to use our strengths to serve others. For a woman, it also means valuing men’s strengths. Even if she’s single, it means uplifting and respecting men. Being independent doesn’t mean rejecting others. Even if we manage to be at peace in our daily lives and our affairs are in order, we all have weaknesses. Having the humility to acknowledge our weaknesses and mistakes is another good antidote to the arrogance of independence.