As image bearers of the triune God, we know that we are designed to live in community with one another. Here are a few ideas about how to show up, whether you’re lonely or looking to be a friend to the lonely.
I recently read an interview with Dr. Vivek Murthy, a former U.S. surgeon general, about what’s been dubbed the loneliness epidemic. “I began practicing medicine and seeing patients and quickly realized that the greatest pathology that I saw was not heart disease or diabetes,” he said in the interview. “It was, in fact, loneliness, and it was impacting the ability of my patients to live healthy and fulfilling lives.”
Research confirms that many people know the sadness of not having a community of friends and confidants. The odds are you know someone who is lonely or you are lonely. I know, I’ve been there: I’ve been lonely and I’ve been a friend to the lonely. And whatever side of the coin I find myself on, one piece of advice has remained the same: Show up.
When I’ve been lonely, I’ve told myself to “show up” in my life even though my loneliness is causing me to sink into self-pity. As a friend to the lonely, I’ve reminded myself of the power of showing up in the lives of others, even if it’s difficult and frustrating.
While “show up” might be a good mantra, what does it look like in everyday life? Here are a few ideas about how to show up, whether you’re lonely or looking to be a friend to the lonely.
Host a party.
Plan a low-key potluck or coffee-and-dessert party. Invite neighbors, co-workers, and friends from church. People are aching for community. Be the person who draws people together.
Plan a regular get-together.
Sometimes, it’s easiest to gather people together around some sort of “event.” The rhythm of having a regular get-together removes the barrier of figuring out a time when everyone is free. Find a TV show you enjoy or plan a consistent game night and make it a tradition.
Get to know a family.
One of my first friends in Cincinnati was a mom of three kids. I would go over when she put her kids to bed, then play games together. It’s always wonderful to befriend folks in a different season of life than us.
Run an errand together.
When you’re making a quick shopping run or walking your dog, invite someone to tag along. The little activities that fill our lives are fun to share with others and are often an easy way to include others in our day-to-day life.
Reply to texts.
We all know the lonely feeling of sending a text and receiving no reply. Replying to (and sending) texts is an easy way to remind others they’re not alone.
Look around you.
What events are happening that you can go to? Start there! It’s easy to think we need to go find and do something new, but oftentimes the Lord has put opportunities in our lives via the people we know and opportunities around us.
As Christians, the loneliness epidemic shouldn’t surprise us. We long for friendship and companionship, yet sin breaks into this aspect of our lives. But we’re empowered to overcome the loneliness epidemic because of Jesus. When we were isolated from Him, He showed up in our world and “moved into the neighborhood.” We can follow the example of our Savior by moving toward others in love and friendship.
© 2024 Focus on the Family. Originally published on the Boundless website in English as : 6 Solutions to the Loneliness “Epidemic” by Abigail Murrish. Translated and published with permission.