We rarely do this at Passion374, but this week we want to speak specifically to women. By wanting to be super women, we hurt our relationships. A little adjustment is needed.
Have you noticed the movies and TV shows in recent years? We’ve had several Thor movies, and the last movie in the series tells the story where a woman takes the hammer. We had the Batwoman and Supergirl series. Hulk also has a cousin with the same attributes: she has her series where she is a lawyer during the day and a superhero after working hours! Even political series or psychological thrillers are increasingly putting women in the lead. It is good that women take the lead, but we must also remain vigilant because these images of powerful women also have a negative influence on us and our relationships with men.
An unhealthy comparison We know very well that we can’t have the same body as the women in these television series, but… seeing them, we can have the impression that our little bodily “flaws” seem more important. When our day has been difficult, these images can leave an extra weight on our self-esteem. These role models are often also very well off financially, which can make us feel poor even though we know God will provide for all of our needs. Even if we work to improve our self-esteem, we should not underestimate the influence these images have on us. Because a feeling of inferiority can also make us more fragile when looking for a partner. We can, without even really realizing it, crave compliments, which can be overwhelming for a partner. We may even look at other women with jealousy when they circle our brothers. So let’s pay attention to the state of our self-esteem after watching these super women.
Overwork These superwomen usually have brilliant careers by day, and fight crime by night. They barely sleep! These images can convince us to always do more. Especially if we are women who like to please others. We want to be everyone’s savior, and since we don’t have superpowers, we easily burn out. Some single Christian women are still single because they are just too busy taking care of everyone else while pursuing exciting careers and being the star of their church. We must learn to rest and take time for our search for a partner. If we don’t have time to make new acquaintances, how will we have time to take care of a relationship?
Toxic Independence The biggest criticism of characters revolving around superheroines is that they try to do everything on their own. And this habit is a bad seed in our minds. How many single women have said, at some point: “Bah! I don’t need men!” They got by on their own, in one of their circumstances, and so they got into the habit of valuing that independence. Yet, God created us as social beings. We are several members of one body, and we must help each other and work together. God even uses our brothers and sisters to meet our needs, including the need to be in a relationship. This too-independent attitude is bad for our search for a partner. Men no longer feel useful in the life of such a woman. Many men don’t even dare approach them, because they can’t imagine themselves being a positive element in their lives.
A contemptuous view of men In several television series where women are the heroes, men are usually portrayed as insignificant and dumb. How many women have looked down on their brothers in Christ by making fun of them? “What would the men do without us?” some women say haughtily. Now, how can we expect respect from a man when we have no respect for him? Yes, men need women; it is exactly for this purpose that God created women (Genesis 2:18). But women need men just as much, as they have a leading role to play in advancing the Kingdom of God (1 Peter 3:7).
Women: we need to work on promoting men. How many men have never recieved compliments from their parents, their teachers, or their ex-partners? We must stop making fun of their clumsiness and instead start valuing their efforts. If we raise our brothers as princes, they will then regard us as their princesses. We can continue to watch superwomen adventures, but let’s take the time to remember that this is all fiction. In the perfect world that God has created, women are as important as men, and we all need love and respect from one another.
(This article is a summary of the conference given in Montreal, Saturday, May 6, 2023.)