“Love is…” That is probably the most quoted passage in wedding ceremonies. It is the ultimate standard for romantic relationships. But are we right to associate it with marriage?
Who has never heard this famous passage, in 1 Corinthians 13:4 to 7? “Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (NASB). Some singles read this passage with hearts in their eyes, hoping to find a prince charming, or a sweet princess, who will love them that way. Other singles roll their eyes at this passage as they consider their failures at love. “Meh! Impossible to love like that!”
Even if it’s not wrong to aim to love this way our future partner if we carefully read the letter of Paul, we will see that he was not talking about marriage in this passage! Just before this passage, the apostle speaks of unity in the church. Immediately after, Paul talks about the spiritual gifts at work in the church. In short, this passage on love applies more to our service in the church than to the state of marriage. It is this type of love that we must show in our relationships with our brothers and sisters in the church, and even in our evangelism.
So let’s re-read this passage in that light. “Love is patient, love is kind…” We indeed need patience when we serve our brothers and sisters in church. “It is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant…” We should not serve in the church to show off, or out of pride. It is good to always look at our motivation behind our service. “It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit…” Nor should we serve others to get rich. “it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered…” We must respect our spiritual authorities because they are trying to give us the best. “It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth…” We do not need people to thank us for our service, since in reality it is Christ whom we serve. “It keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love is our motivation to continue to serve, even in an uninspiring task.
Love is not an emotion. It is a call to action. It is a practical decision to serve the Body of Christ. It is an attentive relationship with the Holy Spirit to let Him act in us and through us.
We can also consider another popular verse. “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7 NASB). This verse, which we apply to all circumstances that require courage, is nevertheless surrounded by a call to follow the Spirit of God. “For this reason I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands” (v.6). As well as a call to service and evangelism. “Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God” (v.8) God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of love. Through His love (his wisdom and strength), we can serve Him and be a powerful witness to His salvation.
As the apostle Paul says, this love leads us even to self-sacrifice and suffering. Is that the way you serve God and your brothers and sisters in the church? To be able to love in this way, we must have ourselves received this love from God. Our Heavenly Father does not want to wear us down, He wants our cup to be so full of His love that it overflows to others (Psalm 23:5). The best way to prepare for marriage, the best way to practice loving our future partner as Christ loves the Church, is to serve with love.