When we wait a long time for a partner and loneliness becomes heavy, we may be tempted to make significant compromises. However, despite our exasperation, we must keep the price of our soul in sight.
“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” (Mark 8:36 NKJV). In the previous verses, Jesus said that we must give up our life, not try to save it and give ourselves entirely to God. Not all Christians are called to serve God in full-time ministry, but we are all called to serve God - where we are - full time. Whether we are a lawyer, civil servant, nurse or factory worker, we are a representative of God at all times. We must not forget that people are constantly watching us and that we are sometimes the only image of God that some people will see.
We could also take inspiration from this verse and say, “What will it profit a man (or woman) if they gain a spouse, and loses their own soul?” Or simply said: what good is it to enter a relationship if that union takes us away from God? Our couple has a mission for the Kingdom of God, a calling. If we set our standards aside just to break our loneliness, we will be missing out on God’s plan for our lives. Perhaps, we win a partner, but what good is it for us if we lose our destiny, our fire, our saltiness? “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men” (Matthew 5:13 NKJV).
“But I’m so tired of being alone…” Well, get started on the project that God has for you, while you are still single. Because during each stage of our lives, God has a particular mission for us. What you are called to accomplish while single, to solidify and extend the Kingdom of God, you probably won’t be able to do it after you are married. You must discover the work that God has already prepared for you, reserved for this moment of your life, and launch yourself body and soul into this project. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10 NKJV).
God is not a dictator who forces His subjects to serve Him for His benefit. He is a good Father who knows our talents, our strengths and our desires very well. He designed a project for each of His children, taking into account their personality. He knows that when we work on His projects, we are happy and fulfilled. We may be tired but never empty. We work hard, but the joy that comes from our service is a source of strength. We become people that are single and passionate, with a positive impact on those around us. This attitude attracts quality partners.
We should have such a powerful love for God that we can say, with our heads held high, the same as the three men in front of the furnace answered the king. “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:17-18 NIV). “Yes, God can give me a spouse, but even if He does not, I won’t compromise my faith and my love for Him”.
It is good to take and time and review our criteria, sometimes they are too many and vague, which makes us miss good potential matches. But we should never regret looking for a partner who wants to make the Kingdom of God grow. This is a fruit that does not lie. “Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit” (Matthew 7:17 NKJV). Since you want to be in a relationship, you might as well do it to glorify God! “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31 NKJV). Don’t risk your faith, your eternity, for a baseless relationship.