Wanting to help others is great! Jesus asked us to be servants of one another. But there is still a limit: you have to be careful not to become the savior! This is the responsibility of Jesus and the work of the Holy Spirit.
For those who like to help others, it is easy to end up overworked. These “nice guys” or “nice girls” usually have a lot of people around them, and the problem is that often these people don’t meet. Work colleagues look at this “savior’s” agenda as if they were only busy during the weekdays. The parents of this “savior” ignore their commitments on weekends. The authorities of their church do not know the dreams and personal aspirations of this “savior”. And if this “savior” is single, it’s even worse! Everyone around them believes that they never do anything, that they are bored at home alone. If they are generous of their time, they can become easily exploited.
People around them can say: “They just have to say no” and shrug their shoulders. But for those who like to help and be useful, saying no is extremely difficult. When we love to please others, there is no greater pain than disappointing a loved one. And all these “saviors” usually have a lot of loved ones around them! If you recognize yourself here and your mental or physical health is affected, you may need to talk with a professional therapist. If not, there are a few habits you can adopt immediately to restore your balance.
Let Jesus be the Savior. God responded to the greatest need of humanity by sending His Son to pay the extreme price to erase our sins and give us access to the Father. In Him is all the fullness of God (Colossians 1:19), everything we need is in the presence of God. We must understand that sometimes, by responding to a need ourselves, we take the place of God. Before saying “yes”, we need to talk about it with the One who sees everything and knows everything. “Lord, do you want me to meet this need?” Maybe God will say yes, and give you the means to be effective. But maybe He will say no, and without explanation. Maybe in His perfect plan, He wants to use someone else, or maybe by not responding to this need, it will cause the person to cry out to God and devote their heart to Him. You have to learn to always consult God before answering. We receive a request, and instead of responding to it right away, we forward it to the Big Boss. Let us follow our Lord and not the requests of those around us (even if it is from our family, our work or our church).
To remind us that we are first and foremost the servant of God, it is essential to take personal time with God every morning, before the requests that come in during the day. During this time, we must focus on hearing God speak to us personally. If everything you read makes you think of others (“Oh, that’s good for her or him!”), It is because you have allowed those around you to invade you. We all personally need our daily bread. Study the Word and pray until God says something special to you.
Take time off. Under the old covenant, God forced His people to take a day of rest: the Sabbath. If we are no longer obliged to follow it religiously, the intention behind this command still holds. God wants His children to take a time of rest, during which we put God first. We also have a fine example with the story of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42). There is a time to serve and a time to sit and listen to our Lord. Take one evening a week to spoil yourself, to educate yourself, to be creative. It’s good for your mental health!
An important note: don’t fall in love with someone who sees you as their savior. Marriage must take place between two emotionally healthy people who are ready to strengthen each other in their weaknesses. If you always have to be the strong one, the steadfast rock, in your relationship, your relationship won’t last long. If the other person sees you as a savior, it is because they have only an incomplete vision of you. You can help a person in need, but guard your heart and do not enter into a relationship with that person until they have received their emotional healing from God. If God wants you to help this person, let Him take control of the situation: He doesn’t need your help, He needs your obedience.