The first date is a crucial step because from the first impressions we may decide whether or not the relationship will soar. Better to be prepared.

You invited a pretty girl from your church to go for coffee, and she agreed. Or, your trustworthy friends organized a “blind date” for you with a charming young man that they feel is just as great as you. Or, you exchanged a few messages on a Christian dating website and you finally decided to meet. Are you stressed? You have a right to be. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

1. Talk with God

As in all things, you should first take the time to talk with God. Tell Him how you feel, what you think about the person you are meeting, and what you think about yourself! When we tell God what we are going through, it allows us to put things into perspective. Our thoughts can run way too fast. Taking a time with God reminds us of His promises, His advice, His limits. And who knows, God who knows all things might give you ideas on how to impress the other person.

2. Choose a familiar place, but not too familiar!

A first date should always be in a public place. Even if that person is highly recommended by friends, the reality is that you do not know that person. You are meeting them to get to know them! Choose a place that is not too noisy and a place familiar enough for you to be relaxed. But not too familiar either: don’t go to a place where all the employees know you by name! The other person will feel very uncomfortable.

3. Avoid distractions

Our mothers taught us that it is rude to interrupt someone while speaking. This rule still holds, especially in our era of communications! Please, mute the ringer on your phone. Don’t answer any calls or text messages, except for real emergencies. If you were being interviewed for a job, would you answer a personal call while the employer asks you questions? Never! It’s the same on a first date. Forget about updating your Facebook profile; the other person may not want to be tagged in your pictures.

4. Only you

Never bring your friends, or worse, your family! As a woman, I understand that your friends and family would like to be around to protect you. However, there are other ways to stay safe without making the man you meet uncomfortable. And vice versa.

5. Dress Code

Choose your clothes carefully. You may have no interest in fashion, but remember that your clothes say a lot about you. A little tip for women: a sweater may seem fine in the mirror, but when you lean on the table, does it suddenly show too much or your cleavage? Check that before you go to the date, because even though it may be interesting for a man, it is not the type of message you want to leave, especially on a first date. Also, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. If you’re not the athletic type, don’t wear Adidas or Nike clothes; you will look phony.

6. Everyone pays their bill

If you are the one who asked them out on the date and you are only drinking tea or coffee, you can do a good deed and pay the whole bill. But if you decide to go to a restaurant, the bill will be higher and on the first date, the rule is that everyone pays their share. Obviously, if one of you wants to take the whole bill, go ahead! But if the other one wants to pay, still offer to pay your part. This is just to demonstrate that you are willing to do it, and are not cheap.

7. Have fun

Choose to have fun during your date. The other person may not become your future husband or wife, but they are a child of God with whom you have at least one thing in common! If you fear dead time you can prepare conversation ideas like places you traveled to, your profession, etc. But stay happy, no matter what happens. “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4.4 NIV)

Don’t plan the wedding on the first date, and if you realize during the date that you don’t want to start any relationship with this person, be polite, sensitive, and honest. Do not lie to them out of fear of hurting them. Don’t waste their time, but be kind in your words, remember that they are a child of God just like you. If on the contrary it went really well, keep your heart, don’t let your mind wander into the distant future. Just ask for another date!