Having goals in life is a great thing and everyone should have goals. Goals are what give us direction in our lives. A hockey game with no net, so no one can score goals is rather boring. Life without a purpose is boring. But among all the goals that you could have, marriage is not one them.

A goal is something you want to achieve. It is a project you work on, something to accomplish in a given time frame. Even when you work on improving yourself so you can become a better potential match, and do activities to find a partner, you cannot control the outcome. Your efforts don’t guarantee success in finding a relationship. When you work hard towards a goal and don’t accomplish it within an expected time, it will produce frustration and even depression in your life. A marriage is a contract between two people. Therefore, half of the contract doesn’t depend on you! Since you cannot control the entire process, it doesn’t make sense to make it one of your goals.

It may be a dream, a wish, a prayer, but not a goal. Marriage will happen, or not. Besides working on yourself to be more attractive and available, there’s not much more you can do.

Why is it important to make this distinction? Because many singles are waiting to be married before serving the Lord with all their heart. Their first goal is to get married, and only then, will they start to live their lives. Since a marriage proposal is out of your control, you are putting God’s calling on hold for an indefinite amount of time. A time where God wants to use you to help others.

It’s similar to when Jesus reproached his disciples for giving him excuses for not immediately following him. “Let me bury my father,” said one in Luke 9. “Let me say goodbye to my family,” said another. Placing a family, or your desire to have a family, before the calling that God puts on your life is not a good idea.

Jesus has given you gifts and talents for a very special purpose, something that He has already planned for you (Ephesians 2:10). Don’t wait to be married to enter your calling. Don’t be like the disciples in Luke 9, and make Jesus wait for you. You also have a great chance to meet a good match while you are serving the Lord in your calling.